I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize