I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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