Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
