Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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