bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
