you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
