he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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