I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
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