i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize