Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
