i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
