they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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