I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
