Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The struggles of a small town man whore
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize