why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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