Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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