We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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