so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
