but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
