the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
