she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize