So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We're too hungover to prance.
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