Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
