god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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