He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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