I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
