He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
