worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i've created a new STD.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
