Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just invented taco cereal.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
