Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
