I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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