i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
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