i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
