i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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