Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
