The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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