Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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