You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
