I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
did i walk over a car last night?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
