is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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