where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize