Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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