don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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