Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize