I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
false alarm, still single
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
