we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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