so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
