we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
