Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My life is pants optional.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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