if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't deserve a penis
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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