PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
