In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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