My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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