Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize