ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize