When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
