1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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