Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
