I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
