a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
